I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
