YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
