But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
