Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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