The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
