Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
