If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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