At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
