I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
