They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
