Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
