trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
