Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
