just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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