He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
