I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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