You really coming over, don't trick.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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