Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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