Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
