i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
