My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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