woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
