Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
