A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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