my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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