Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
