ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I forget how to act sober
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
