then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
