Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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