how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My ass is underappreciated
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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