i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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