i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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