I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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