..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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