Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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