Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
