windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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