she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
