My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
