the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
