Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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