I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
