She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
