Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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