Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
