This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
