so explain again why im purple
no
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
