so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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