is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
