Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
