Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
