she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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