no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
