yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
