Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
